When They Just Don’t Feel Like It: Helping Clients Navigate Internal Resistance

Your client wakes up on Saturday morning tired from a long week at the office. They chat with their partner over a cup of coffee and a light breakfast, repeatedly glancing at the running shoes, gym clothes and water bottle sitting by the front door. They placed those items there the night before as both a reminder to attend their favorite group fitness class and as a way to eliminate barriers to participation. No searching for clean clothes, no checking in the cupboard or dishwasher for their bottle—just get dressed and go.

But they don’t feel like it. They had a long week and the idea of chilling on the couch with their spouse is just too inviting. So, they don’t go and decide instead to do a tougher workout on Sunday to make up for it.

That internal resistance exists in all of us, but it’s not a character flaw. It’s a predictable, impersonal force that shows up whenever someone tries to move toward growth. In his book The War of Art, Steven Pressfield writes about the many faces of resistance—procrastination, rationalization, self-sabotage, etc.—that keep so many of us from pursuing, let alone achieving, our goals.

His book is largely about creativity and writing, but much of what Pressfield writes about applies to any behavior change. Importantly, he explains that excuse making and backsliding in the pursuit of goals is not proof that a person doesn’t care. In fact, it’s typically proof that the goal actually matters to them. In other words, internal resistance is often proportional to how much a person values what they’re trying to do.

Internal Resistance Explained and Reframed

“I really like the idea of treating resistance as something predictable rather than as evidence of a character flaw,” explains Sabrena Jo, PhD, ACE Senior Director of Science and Research. “We sometimes talk about healthy behavior as though once someone decides they want to make a change, motivation will naturally carry them forward. But that is rarely how behavior change works. People can genuinely value exercise and want to be more physically active while simultaneously experiencing resistance to doing it on a particular day.”

Dr. Jo goes on to explain, “That resistance can come from many places, including fatigue, stress, competing priorities, discomfort, uncertainty or simply the appeal of doing something easier in the moment. None of those things necessarily means the person is lazy or unmotivated.”

Something that can help tremendously is teaching clients to identify and name what’s happening. Thinking “That’s just my internal resistance talking” rather than “I’m feeling really lazy today” can be a powerful mindset switch, as it allows the client to understand it as a predicable element of the behavior-change process rather than something “wrong” with them or a personal failure. It then becomes an obstacle they can learn to overcome.

Saying, “That’s resistance talking,” creates a little psychological distance between the person and the thought they are having.

“There is an important difference between thinking, ‘I'm lazy,’ and recognizing, ‘I'm having the thought that I don’t want to exercise right now,’” says Dr. Jo. “The first statement turns a temporary experience into an identity. The second allows the client to notice the thought without automatically accepting it as a fact or allowing it to determine what happens next.”

Dr. Jo also encourages professionals to avoid turning “resistance” into another thing the client has to fight or defeat. “Sometimes resistance contains useful information. Maybe the client is genuinely exhausted, the exercise plan feels overwhelming or the activity doesn't fit their preferences. The goal is to become curious about the resistance: ‘What is this telling me, and what do I want to do next?’” she says.

“That creates space for choice, which is central to lasting behavior change.”

You can also help clients anticipate resistance rather than being surprised or discouraged by it. They may even start to see patterns revealing when resistance spikes, such as Saturday mornings, Mondays after work, during the holidays or—and this can be somewhat counterintuitive—after achieving a goal. The idea is to have a pre-planned response to those moments rather that succumbing to the resistance: “I knew there would be days when I wouldn’t feel like sticking to my routine. What strategy can I use to help me take the next step?”

That is important, says Dr. Jo, because it moves the conversation away from judgment and toward problem solving. “Our role,” she says, “is not to eliminate resistance. It is to help clients develop strategies for responding to it in ways that support their own goals and values.”

If they’re prepared, clients won’t have to invent a solution when they’re stressed or tired. They will already have a plan.

Strategies for Overcoming Internal Resistance

One of the most useful things a client can do when they are feeling highly motivated is plan for those days when they will be feeling less inspired to stick to the program. We tend to make plans based on how we feel in the moment, but our future selves may be tired, stressed, busy or simply more interested in staying on the couch.

Share the following strategies with your clients and discuss which may work best for them in various scenarios.

Turn Pro. So, what can your client do differently to make going to the gym an automatic part of their life rather than a decision to be made on Saturday morning? Pressfield encourages people to “turn pro.” It’s a mindset shift from “I’ll go to the gym if I feel like it” to “I’m someone who exercises, feelings aside.”

Imagine your client on Monday morning, getting ready to head out to work. Odds are, they don’t feel like doing that either! But they’re a professional and not going isn’t really an option. That’s what Pressfield means by “turning pro.” You just do it as part of your daily life because that’s who you are and what you do.

Train for Yourself. Social media can sometimes make fitness feel performative, whether it’s workout videos or screen shots of a map showing how far someone walked on their lunch break. Encourage clients to ask themselves, “Am I exercising for how it feels or for other people’s approval or likes on social media?” Behavior change works best when goals are connected to values. If that’s not how your client feels, it may be worthwhile for them to do a little self-reflection and then revisit their goals.

Reduce Friction. As the client in our opening example demonstrates, reducing barriers can make it easier to follow through, even if it can’t eliminate resistance altogether. Encourage your clients to pack the gym bag the night before, schedule workouts on the calendar, choose a gym close to home or work, or keep exercise equipment somewhere visible and accessible. These strategies make in-the-moment decision making easier. Another option is to develop a fixed time, place and pre-workout ritual that reduces decision fatigue.

Encourage clients to just get started and let momentum take over. Sometimes, putting the clothes and shoes on and stepping out the front door is the hardest part of the workout. Once they get moving, momentum and routine may help carry them forward.

Create a “Minimum Effective Dose” Workout. According to Jen Kates, founder of Shift Human Performance and an ACE Certified Health Coach, “When a client thinks, ‘I don't have time for a workout,’ the brain often treats the choice as 60 minutes to work out or do nothing at all.” Kates will sometimes have clients decide in advance what the smallest version of their workout looks like. For example, if a full workout is 45 to 60 minutes long, a short workout may be 20 minutes and a minimum effective dose workout may be 5 to 10 minutes of intentional movement. “That way,” she says, “a busy or low-energy day doesn't require an all-or-nothing attitude. This mindset reinforces flexibility rather than turning exercise adherence into a test of willpower.”

Use If-Then Planning. For example, a client can say to themselves, “If I get home from work and don't feel like going to the gym, then I'll change into my workout clothes and walk for five minutes before deciding what to do.” This makes the response to resistance more automatic.

Kates suggests creating a backup plan for the expected obstacles a client can experience, rather than relying on motivation to rescue them. For example, “If my planned workout gets bumped by something else, then I'll do a 10-minute movement snack later that day.”

Separate “I Don't Feel Like It” from “I Shouldn't.” This is a great coaching conversation because feelings don't always need to become instructions. If a client is feeling like they don’t want to work out that day, they can ask themselves, “Is there a reason I shouldn't exercise today, or am I simply experiencing resistance to getting started?”

Kates explains that if they’re sick, injured, severely sleep-deprived or truly need recovery, that information is useful. But if it’s simply “I'd rather sit on the couch and scroll Instagram,” they can acknowledge the feeling without automatically obeying it.

Renegotiate the Plan. Here is another useful strategy Kates uses with her clients. Instead of telling clients to ‘stick to the plan no matter what,’ she teaches them that the plan is a starting point, not a contract. “They should ask themselves: ‘What do my body and my life need from me today?’ Maybe the planned 60-minute strength workout becomes a 20-minute session. Maybe a hard run becomes an easy jog or jog-walk. Maybe the gym gets replaced with mobility exercises or a movement snack. The key is maintaining the identity and habit of being someone who moves, even when the original plan needs to change.”

Final Thoughts

One key thing to remember is that internal resistance shouldn’t always be ignored and that your role as a health coach or exercise professional is not to teach clients to override every feeling of resistance. Sometimes, feelings of “I’m too tired today” can be the body’s way of telling us to choose rest or recovery. Sometimes other priorities will rank higher than exercise on a particular day.

Instead, you can help your clients become better at distinguishing between “I don’t feel like doing this right now” and “Doing this isn’t the right choice for me today.” Those are two very different things and understanding the difference between the two can be very empowering.

Consistency is vital for long-term behavior change, but consistency doesn’t mean showing up in the same way every single day. Motivation fluctuates and no one makes the best choice at every opportunity. As Dr. Jo explains, “Over time, the goal is to help clients build confidence in their ability to make intentional choices, adapt when life gets complicated and return to behaviors that matter to them after inevitable disruptions. That is a much more sustainable definition of consistency than never missing a workout.”